breaking water

Last Wednesday, my co-workers and I engaged in a most random and hideous topic: What do you do if your water breaks in an inopportune location? We started talking about this because Jackie (design manager) knew someone whose water recently broke in Sam’s Club. Might’ve been aisle 8 next to the pickles according to Kyle. That got me thinking. I started making a list of the 10 worst places to have your water break. I’ve now just extended the list to the 20 worst places. Some of this is impractical in the sense that a pregnant woman would never be doing some of the following in her final trimester. I say….meh. Use your imagination. Cause chances are, the woman in number 14 will be me.

20 Worst Places to Have your Water Break:

1) At a metal concert surrounded by deaf, angry bikers
2) On a roller coaster
3) In an elevator during a power outage
4) On Santa’s lap at the mall
5) Antarctica
6) Walking down the red carpet
7) In a swimming pool surrounded by pesky children (who always swallow the water)
8) On a brand-spanking new $1200 couch (made of absorbent fabric)
9) During the second coming
10) On stage in the middle of a Spelling Bee (you’re about to spell “discharge”)
11) In front of Johnny Depp
12) The DMV (after waiting in line for 3 hours, right before your ticket gets called)
13) Top of the Eiffel Tower
14) In your car 2 days after the gas light first went off
15) In front of a grumpy janitor who just cleaned up a wet floor
16) On a train headed to Germany (year is 1943)
17) Walking down the aisle
18) In a giant Skittle suit on Halloween night
19) On an island with the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 (your name is Claire)
20) Space

There ya go people. Worst case scenarios for your amniotic fluid. Kudos to anyone who can think of more. Creativity is always smiled upon :)

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