How is it that over the Thanksgiving weekend, I forgot to take pictures of family but I was able to snap shots of wild turkey? It was my first time seeing these (outside of a zoo) and I couldn’t help thinking “You lucky suckers. We’ll get you next year!”
On a more serious note, does anyone else fear the icicles here in Utah? When I lived in Hawaii, I had this childish fantasy that icicles were beautiful, sparkling shards the size of your hand that hung from gingerbread-like houses, all chandelier-ish. Ready to be plucked and stowed away like diamonds. In reality, they are treacherously sharp SPIKES ready to break off at any moment and impale our squishy heads. Mother Nature’s way of saying “EFF YOU stupid humans for soiling my land and murdering the dolphins.”
And here’s another picture below of ice hanging from our roof (outside the office window). Do you see that owl-like silhouette in the background? Well, here’s how I discovered it…
Me: Hey babe, I think there’s an OWL on our neighbor’s roof…Holy crap, it’s HUGE!
Ben: Babe, that owl’s a fake. It’s been there since we moved in.
But anyways, talking about icicles makes me think of some of Dwight’s quotes from The Office:
Dwight: It’s very unusual for Michael not to show up to work. My guess? He’s either deeply depressed or an icicle has snapped off his roof and impaled his brain. He has this terrible habit of standing directly underneath them and staring up at them. And I always say “Michael, take two steps back and stare at the icicle from the side.” And he’s like “No, I like the way they look from standing directly underneath them.”
Michael: If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.
Dwight: That’s not… You were being really funny, and then you went too far.
Michael: Okay, I would kill Bin Laden and then Toby.
Dwight: No, that’s still…
Michael: Okay geniuses, how would you do it?
Creed: Curve the bullet like in my favorite James McAvoy film, “Wanted.”
Oscar: All that does is help you shoot around things…
Ryan: Is there a curtain rod in the room?
Michael: I don’t know.
Stanley: How about Make Believe Land has anything you want…?
Jim: Stanley, please. This is serious!
Angela: Is this the thing where they use an icicle so there’s no evidence?
Michael: Yes. We stab Toby through the heart with an icicle.
Poor Toby :)