Category Archives: Uncategorized

“So it goes”

In most cases, I go for weeks and MONTHS without blogging because of those invisible antagonists like laziness, forgetfulness or busyness. Between work, spending the weekends with friends, arting (when you art just for fun), going on trips, and being a wife and friend to my hubby, I find such few moments where I can just sit down and type ALL THIS stuff. But lets face it – you also have to be in the right mood for blogging.

And to be honest, I haven’t been in the mood to blog for months. Not for 6 months. I’ve been afraid of this space for so long and just kept it in the dark – in the tip top dusty shelf of my head space where I didn’t have to think about it or look at it in the eyes. Only 12 hours after I wrote my last blog post, our sweet Curie passed away. It was the darkest and roughest night of our lives, and until this day, it hurts me so much thinking about the moments leading up to our decision to euthanize her. She was too far gone and was in too much pain that we ended up helping her go. Saying good bye but not being able to explain to her what was happening or how much I loved her was the hardest part, and I wish that I could’ve at least removed her fear if not all the pain before her final panicked breath. I read a lot of blogs after that day, just to see how other people coped with euthanasia. No matter the situation, it seemed like all parents experienced some measure of regret. Did we euthanize her too soon? Did we wait too long? Would we have had more time if we gave her more of a fighting chance? Oh god, why did we wait so long? Why did we do that. Why didn’t we just rush her into the vet and alleviate her pain HOURS ago? So many hours. We waited all night long. We waited too long. Stupid, stupid.

Fast forward about 6 months. My husband and I are driving back from our friend’s house after dinner, talking about what he wants for his birthday which is his first tattoo. He tells me he wants the phrase “So it goes” tattooed somewhere on his body and I ask him where that phrase comes from. He says it’s a reoccurring refrain from the book Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut which is an autobiographical science-fiction book of sorts that explores themes like the illusion of free will and inevitability. Spark Notes of course summarizes this phrase nicely:

The phrase “So it goes” follows every mention of death in the novel, equalizing all of them, whether they are natural, accidental, or intentional, and whether they occur on a massive scale or on a very personal one. The phrase reflects a kind of comfort in the Tralfamadorian idea that although a person may be dead in a particular moment, he or she is alive in all the other moments of his or her life, which coexist and can be visited over and over through time travel. At the same time, though, the repetition of the phrase keeps a tally of the cumulative force of death throughout the novel, thus pointing out the tragic inevitability of death.

Ben was explaining to me that there’s a kind of comfort in the phrase “So it goes” because it supplements the fact that many (or all depending on your philosophy) life events are out of our control. Bad things happen and we can not do anything about it. A person, pet, family, village or an entire race of people dies and yet the universe and our world as we know it goes on spinning. We go on. If you don’t, then something else will. The passage of time is unmoved by our pains or shaky grip of reality. Some of this is hard for people to grasp, especially in conjunction with things like religion. I can delve into the riddle of “free will” and write many blog posts about consciousness, brain complexity, and the sort of depressing position of determinism. But if you try to understand it from Vonnegut’s perspective and accept your powerlessness in the unavoidable (like death, taxes, pop up ads, etc.), then you would realize that there is actually a LACK of meaning in these deaths.

Curie’s death happened and “so it goes.” I’m grateful for the AMAZING photos and 5 years of memories we have of her that live on inside our minds. What a pup! What a beard she had :) It helps to accept the calm in the almost legal affirmation of this phrase, and nothing has helped more than simply the passing of time which lessens and heals all wounds.

Advertisements

Beauty Without Bunnies

So here’s an issue that I wanted to share with anyone who might not be aware. As most of you know, I’m a (somewhat passive but still passionate) advocate of animal rights. I love bunnies, chipmunks, cows, goats, whales, dolphins and even snakes with a fervor (who doesn’t like fluffy things…even WITH allergies?) and have watched a fair share of animal documentaries to keep myself educated about issues and current events. I became a vegetarian on December 31, 2011 after watching the eye-opening documentary Earthlings and have tried to be more consistent with my lifestyle and moral philosophies which is precisely why I’m so disappointed in myself for figuring this out so late.

Image

Image

I’ve been a fan of M.A.C. and Estee Lauder cosmetics for MANY years now, since late high school. Before I even knew how to properly apply eyeliner (shudder). Until recently, I didn’t do any research regarding these companies and their roles in animal testing because…I just simply didn’t THINK about it. I was ignorant. Makeup is still tested on moving things – wha? Isn’t there like…alternative testing that scientists can do on artificial skin and stuff? (Answer: yes that’s the sad part) I was busy being a vegetarian and helping animals that way and I rather liked the way M.A.C.’s Studio Fix foundation felt like silk on my skin…how vibrant their eye shadows looked…how Estee Lauder’s midnight blue eye pencil made me feel like an Egyptian queen. Twas all PERFECT for Halloween! Ironic and sad because the whole time I was still contributing to a problem that I adamantly opposed in a form I just didn’t think about.

As most of you know, M.A.C. was bought out by Estee Lauder in 1998. A lot of people weren’t happy about that because E.L. has a reputation for openly testing on animals and M.A.C. (though they claimed to still be cruelty free) did not deny that they still tested on animals when required by law (according to Logical Harmony’s testament/blog post which recounts her email reply back from M.A.C.) That simply means that even though they claim to be cruelty-free (which any company can claim just like food companies with the word “organic”) they can still buy their ingredients from not-so-cruel-free sources or still sell to countries like China which do require testing. Of course there’s no absolute way to verify who here is providing 100% truth, but the fact that M.A.C. is even affiliated with E.L. leads me to believe that there is a chance that they test on animals. This I can not support. I’ve therefore ceased buying all M.A.C. and Estee Lauder products indefinitely. It’s time to find something else!

Image

 

I know not everyone shares my views and enthusiasm for animal rights which is okay. We all have different priorities, concerns and life passions. But I hope that as much as possible, the public becomes something that is comprised of educated, compassionate shoppers (since we are a country eager to consume) and we never hesitate to ask questions or be skeptical about issues, claims, etc. Know what you’re buying and what you may (even unknowingly) be supporting/contributing to. Spread the word about stuff. Don’t be afraid to talk about things (fear of discussion is the killer of progression!)

 

* No bunnies were harmed in the making of this blog post :)

Mood hair.

Sometimes you gotta go blonde (twice)…

IMG_1191
>
>
>
>
>
Before you can go blue.

IMG_1200
>
>
>
>
>
“Though I may be on to something with that blue hair. It look-u nice…look-u pretty nice…”

Tagged , , ,

Mount.

Remember I promised to show you what was in the blue box a few weeks ago? It rhymes with cantaloupe. It’s smaller than a motorboat. Harder to find than an isotope. Horned like a goat. Always in fighting mode. Its milk is rumored to be an antidote. Lure it with whiskey before it hops over a slope.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Behold, I’mma Jackalope!

 

Image

Image

Image

 

 

It was a birthday gift from Ben. Purchased from DIGS which is an artsy fartsy furniture & decor shop in Ballard (no mythical animals were harmed in the making of this head mount). I found the frame at Vallue Village ($3.99!) and painted it white. The Jackalope art in the upper left corner was painted by my friend Erin Malaspino who gave it to me as a birthday gift back in June!

 

You might ask “Why the fascination with jackalopes?” Ahh, you see. My co-workers and I are fascinated with this thing called power animals. Each person has it – an animal or even insect that best embodies their character. Sometimes your power animal is very obvious while other times it takes a few months to figure out. I’ve been dubbed a few different things such as the Pika  and even the curious looking Venezuelan Poodle Moth. But the creature I felt most connected to was the jackalope.  A fearsome critter of North American folklore that has the uncanny ability to mimic any sound including that of the human voice (creeeeepy). I do like to repeat what people say and mumble eerie tunes under my breath. Also I’m kind of like a rabbit, born in the year of a rabbit with a temperament like a rabbit, but a little more strange. That’s where the antlers come in :)

 

Do YOU have a power animal? If so, what is it and why?

 

Go out with a bang.

So I finally made the cut. I’ve been wanting this hair style for months and months now but was told “no it wouldn’t look good on you” or “no your forehead is too small.” But I said ahhh, uck em and got….

 

Bangs :)

Image

 

The kind I haven’t had since the second grade. I fricken love it. Much to Ben’s surprise, he likes it too. What was that honey? You were…wrong? Ah, the sweet roar of success. It feels good to see your vision match reality…not to mention I feel more Asian than ever.

 

Also this illustration by Denise van Leeuwen really spoke to me. If you have pups, you’ve all been there. Hide yo bras, hide yo panties and hide yo socks cuz they’re chewin’ errything out here.

 

Image

Holy Kao

During the Fremont Oktoberfest, Ben and I decided to aimlessly walk around and look at shops/people (which is what you do when you’re too cheap for the beer garden). A very hangry me and a sweet, patient Ben (who is used to dealing with a hungry+angry Angella) eventually staggered into a Thai restaurant called Kaosamai (pronounced Gow Sa Mai). To be honest, I didn’t expect much. A decent meal for a decent price maybe?

I ordered the Pa’Nang Curry – a celestial blend of coconut milk, lime leaf, bell peppers, zucchini and basil. WHOA…I was blown away. It was utterly divine, full of zesty flavors that I couldn’t get enough of. I didn’t know another curry existed besides Mushroom Tikka Masala that could make me feel this way. There would be no leftovers that night, even if it meant rolling around in pain afterwards.

Ben ordered the Eggplant Special which was a colorful mix of stir fried eggplant, tofu, bell peppers, yellow onion and sweet basil. Also just $9.95 (not nearly as scrumptious as my dish but still yummy!)

So if you’re ever in the Fremont area, do your taste buds a favor and EAT HERE! You might like it so much that you’ll blog about it :)

That Time of Year Again

Me: Hey babe, lets start thinking about costume ideas! How about, you be a polar bear and I be an eskimo?

Ben: No.

Me: You be Doctor Who and me a Weeping Angel?

Ben: Too complicated.

Me: I be Chun-Li and you Bison?

Ben: That’s silly.

Me: Big Daddy and Little Sister from Bioshock?

Ben: Way too expensive to make.

Me: Buttercup and Westley?

Ben: No.

Me: I be Daenerys and you be a dragon from Game of Thrones?

Ben: No.

Me: Marry Poppins and Burt?

Ben: That’s stupid.

Me: Madeline and the French nun?

Ben: SO stupid.

Me: Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn?

Ben: No.

Me: Me as McDonalds and you as Burger King?

Ben: What? No.

Me: